It's becoming apparent to me that Aspies have a unique sense of humor all their own. Mine borders on the line of childish, crude silliness that isn't directed at anyone's expense, to be vaguely put. I don't like offending people, so I veer towards always being the nice one, always being humble, quiet (to avoid blurting out something inappropriate that may offend somebody), generally being too sweet. It's both a blessing and a curse - I hardly ever hurt anybody's feelings, but at the same time, I struggle to maintain a friendship that lasts longer than a few weeks - apart from my few true friends, of course.
Basically, I get boring, so people move on. Good for the office, bad for the social world.
Because of this, the people I become associated with often fall into two categories: the nurturing, and the harmful. The relationship I have with the first group comes from a cycle of support: we exchange advice, take care of one another when the other one is sick, do favors for each other, provide the necessary pick-me-up in the case of a break up - you get the idea. This is the more traditional type of a friendship where everyone is the benefactor, though in my case it isn't so humor-based (unless focused pop culture and television). My closest friends all fall into this category, and I'm grateful for that - without such wonderful people in my life I would have nothing.
I am just beginning to understand why I attract the second group - they are cruel, manipulative, superficially charming individuals who look to suck the life out of us because we appear weaker than they do; They have their way with you and then toss you aside. I'm thinking this occurs in my case because I appear so reserved, and unfortunately I can't work a whole room on my own, if you know what I'm saying - I need to respond to others, it's just the way I am.
Socializing is a process of filtering through people and keeping those who help you, and distancing yourself from those who don't - simple as that. If this is the case, then why do we attract so many leeches?
I'm noticing that a lot of guys who express a romantic (or at least sexual) interest in me fall into the second category - they get distracted, or will be excessively rude if they suddenly decide that they aren't interested after all. Perhaps this is the hooking-up culture spitting me in the face, for it is exactly what I don't want. Who knows, if I were the life of the party, maybe I would be this way as well. Having been described as a "fun drunk" I do particularly well with socializing at parties, but after the booze wears off and the sun comes up I'm left with only my shyness and a lack of anything interesting to say - hence, my weak point. Gotta love college, right?
Why do we have to countlessly be victimized by those who are more charismatic, more power-hungry than we are? Certainly there has to be something better out there! Sure, I'm surrounded by a number of immature young men, but is this just a generational thing, or will they be this way forever?
Until then, I guess we just have to recognize who is best for us... it gets easier, right?