Rex, the Musical Savant

This is a wonderful story of how an individual's strengths can more than make up for their shortcomings. Compassion and patience are the building blocks of success. Who's to say that Rex is impaired?

I believe Rex will discover a rich future full of beautiful, original music. He will be able to find his way through the world through texture and noise. When you can perceive so much, the areas in which you are lacking don't really matter. I wish Rex and his mother all the love and happiness in the world.

QuickCues and other Mobile Apps for ASD's

The Non-profit organization Fraser has produced QuickCues, a mobile app which helps to provide cue cards for those on the Autism Spectrum. Here is a demo video:

I don't know much about this app other than what is shown in the demo video, but it seems like a wonderful idea. With all of the technological advances taking place, why not take advantage of this?

In middle and high school, my aide encouraged me to write down hints for communicating in a notebook. I simply wrote down the names of my peers and a thing or two I could discuss with them, something simple like music, tv shows, or a sport we played together.

The only issue with this is its inconvenience, and visibility. I remember in my sophomore year, a "friend" (read: mean-spirited acquaintance) was going through my notebook, and came across my page of conversation starters. Her eyes started darting intently across the page, as it wasn't the usual doodle-filled chemistry notes; she asked, "what's this?" I turned bright red and grabbed it back immediately. I told her that it helped me figure out what to say to other people, trying not to make a big deal out of it. For a second I felt like a complete stalker, tracking the actions and interests of my peers. I stopped carrying around visual cues after that.

Though there is a useful aspect in writing down things to help remember them, it just gets inconvenient at times. Flash cards take up space, are cumbersome, get dirty easily, and could easily reveal your differences. An app like this, or even a word document on your phone with reminders, is discreet and private. If you don't want such an app to be revealed, a vague title like "QuickCues" can be written off as a general study guide - also, it doesn't hurt that iPhones and iPods can be password protected. You can give yourself as little or as much security as you feel is necessary.

This app is $4.99. Though I personally feel I wouldn't want to spend so much money on it (I'm a cheapskate), I think Fraser is providing an important service and such an app would be worth investing in for a lot of people. If you don't want to spend the money, you could probably create flashcards, or a word document with text from an online guide - it would be free, but with a similar idea.

I hope this app becomes available for more devices, and not just the Apple devices. You don't even need an iPhone to use it. Though I don't have this app, I've found my iPod Touch indispensable. Along with all my music, it has relaxation sounds, Theta and Beta waves (also for relaxation), some photos, games, books, my calendar, and the small internet browser doesn't hurt either. I've written papers on it, and even a few of these blog entries! It's nice because I can carry a lot with me in such a compact package. If you don't want to spend the money on an iPod Touch, I'd reconsider - there are some less expensive models out, and they can be purchased on different websites for even less! I got my iPod on eBay and saved about $80 off of Apple's price.

Sorry, I just sounded like I'm pitching a product! Haha. But seriously, this is a great idea. Would you use an app like this? Why or why not? Do you know of any similar ones? I want to hear about them! Maybe we could start a list. So show me what you've got!

Aspie Theatre Camp

When I reflect on my childhood into my adolescence, and think about the experiences I gained the most from, the performing arts are at the top of the list. Starting from the 5th grade, I was heavily into theatre. I think what drew me to it was seeing my sister, a natural, be the star onstage. It was fascinating seeing her transfer between completely different roles, all with ease.

I didn't get very many leads during my time doing theatre. With the small roles that I did get, however, I was able to step outside of myself and embody someone else. I really had to think about the motives of each character, their personality, behavior, and how they reacted to the other characters. Though shy in real life, onstage I can be outgoing, sensual, the life of the party, and many other things - all at once, even.

I learned how to socially progress and travel from one point to another. Theatre also taught me how to further empathize with others and understand other peoples' motives and not just my own.

Theatre, along with being an art form, can also be used as a testing ground for social interaction. I think this is why so many programs are being created that use theatre in a roleplay technique, to teach children with Autism Spectrum disorders how to socialize. It's a safe place to learn the right and wrong ways to interact, and it allows the actor to break out of his or her shell.

Because of theatre, I am no longer afraid of having the spotlight on me. I'm less inhibited and am not afraid to act silly and crazy in front of a lot of people. Acting has also taught me to take initiative, thereby helping to break the ice for others involved. I can attribute almost everything I know about human interaction from socializing at rehearsals and being onstage, in someone else's shoes. Theatre has helped me better understand the rules of social interaction.

This is why I think more theatre programs should be created, not even just for special needs children, but a safe place where children of all abilities can practice socializing and step outside of their comfort zone by using theatre as an outlet. A theatre program would also give a child common ground to socialize with other children about: it would give them another thing they have in common. I've always found I do my best in structured environments, and a theatre or improv program would be the perfect place for that. I find it a wonderful way to learn, and it goes hand-in-hand with Occupational Therapy in a child's enrichment.

I think a theatre program would be a great place for a parent to bring their autistic child. I learned so much from it, and I want others to experience the same. Just my two cents. What are your thoughts on theatre as a social skills teaching tool?

Autism: The Musical

I just watched the documentary Autism: The Musical, which I found heartwarming and sweet. It's about a woman who decides to start a theatre group for children with Autism and their parents, called The Miracle Project. Inspired by her own son, Neal, who is non-verbal, she wishes to help reach out to other kids experiencing similar issues.

The viewer gets to know many different children, including Henry, a boy with Asperger's who has an obsession with dinosaurs; Wyatt, a highly-verbal boy who has trouble with bullies; Adam, a charming little boy who plays the cello and has tantrums every now and then; Lexi, a 14-year-old girl with a beautiful singing voice who enjoys mimicking others, as well as many other kids.

In the movie, the parents discuss what having a child with Autism can be like, and their fears and concerns for their child. There is also a visible transformation (especially from Lexi's mother) in some of the parents regarding their understanding of Autism, which I think is one of the most powerful things that can be presented in a film. It reminds us that there are still prejudices out there, that no matter what we do, Autism won't be universally understood for a long time.

This film is not idealistic; it is not trying to tear Autism apart. What Autism: The Musical does is present the viewer with the diverse ways in which Autism can manifest in an individual, as well as the struggles that individual may deal with on a daily basis. It also shows us how beautiful the life of an Autistic individual can be - full of passion and dedication, to start, and how it creates a change in that child's parents, who are able to see the world in a whole new way.

I can't begin to tell you how I relate to these children: I threw tantrums like Adam's. I was bullied, similarly to Wyatt. My childhood obsession with Pokemon is comparable to Henry's obsession with dinosaurs, and, like Neal, I can see the world in an entirely different way. Furthermore, I can only wish to experience Lexi's joy when she makes that endearing grin at the camera.

This film is a must-see for anyone on the Autism Spectrum, for parents of Autistic children, siblings, family members, educators, psychologists, therapists, social workers - even anyone with the slightest bit of curiosity or misunderstanding. If you're reading this blog right now, I urge you to see it, and encourage you to recommend it to someone who would learn a little something.

Auties: Successful in the workplace?

I just came across this article: Thorkil Sonne: Recruit Autistics (thanks, computerlove at WrongPlanet!) and it really made my day. In the article, Sonne, who runs an IT company in Denmark, makes it a point to hire mostly people on the autism spectrum, because of their attention to detail, fantastic memory, and amazing concentration ability. This company is really working out well for him, because, as stated in the article, "Once on the job, the consultants stay focused beyond the point when most minds go numb. As a result, they make far fewer mistakes."

This seems like such a wonderful work model because it not only breaks conventions, but it opens up jobs for individuals previously thought to be "unhire-able". The only place where I would think a person with Autism may not be suitable for working is in a highly social environment, where office drama is bound to happen and charisma is necessary every step of the way. In the context of work, people should be judged not by their Type A personality (or lack thereof) or by their ability to follow social rules; they should be judged by their ability to work, and how well they work. Get what I'm saying?

Hopefully, as acceptance of autism continues to progress, more companies will start using a similar model. It will put away certain conventions and open up the door to new ones, possibly changing the standard of what the typical workplace environment will be. Isn't that exciting? Autism isn't an epidemic of sorts: we're real people who also need to make a living, and the fact that companies are starting to pay attention to this is wonderful on both our behalf and theirs. Let's keep it coming!!!

Why I Won't be Walking.

So the Walk for Autism Research is coming up in my area soon. I'm not participating: here's why.

The walk is sponsored by Autism Speaks, an organization that is one of the main supporters of Autism reasearch. Here is a quote from their mission statement :

We are dedicated to funding global biomedical research into the causes, prevention, treatments, and cure for autism; to raising public awareness about autism and its effects on individuals, families, and society; and to bringing hope to all who deal with the hardships of this disorder.

Honestly, I'm glad a group like this exists. I am curious as to where Autism comes from; I'd like ANSWERS rather than mere speculations, though with time, I bet all we'll get is a strongly supported theory. That's all right. We already know there are truly no solid answers in science; we can live with this.

The part that really gets me is when they discuss wishing to "raise public awareness about autism and its effects on individuals, families, and society; and to bringing hope to all who deal with the hardships of this disorder."

Uh, WHAT? Public awareness is fine, just as long as it's in the right context and it displays the right information. What really bothers me is the portrayal of Autism as a disorder. I know you've heard this from me endlessly, but to be quite frank:

AUTISM IS NOT A DISORDER. Social conditioning and our society's take on what is "normal" blows our perceptions of Autism to extremes. Anyone who is slightly different, in the eyes of our society, has a disorder, or even worse, a disease.

I feel like the awareness of Autism is being blown to epidemic proportions. Here's a conversation I had at home the other day with my parents:

Dad: Apparently the number of kids diagnosed with Autism has gone up to 1 in every 98 kids.

Mom: That's awful!

Me: Well, at least they're getting better at diagnosing it...

I love my parents. They're wonderful people, and I wouldn't be where I am today without them. Their views are just something I don't support. Yes, they agree with the whole "Autism Speaks is a Godsend" deal. Despite having done a lot of work in support of Autism in our area (they completely re-vamped my area's education system and helped it grow when I came along), I just don't agree with a lot of things they say about "curing" Autism.

Just because Autism differs from what the standard for "normal" or "typical" is in our society, apparently makes it a disorder! Well, maybe some peoples' brains work differently, ever thought about that? Maybe the kid who is a scientific genuis today but has no friends due to being "lost in space" will one day cure cancer. I know individuals on the Autism spectrum who are some of the most brilliant people I've ever met. I know individuals who are brilliant who don't have anything close to Autism. It's all how you see it.

In conclusion, I do have a form of Autism, but I'm a functioning member of society. I am capable of survival. This is why I don't want to participate in any Autism Awareness events; I want to be seen for who I am, and not as a part of some growing "epidemic". So sorry, I won't be joining you on "Walk for Autism" day. Autism Speaks can suck my dick.

Epiphany.

I originally began this blog to help people step into the mind of someone with Asperger's Syndrome. I've been trying to promote neurodiversity, love, compassion, appreciation and self-respect. I've been trying to get out the message that everybody has a unique mind, and the Autism spectrum is just one tiny slice of the possible distinctions between every single mind out there. For those of you reading this, who are taking in my message, thank you.

However, I really shouldn't be keeping a blog in the first place. I'm just a random young woman who happens to fit into the specific diagnostic criteria for a condition that some people happen to have. I look exactly like every other 20 year old girl on the street, with the same interests and a similar mindset; I'm yet another pawn in the ever-changing army of pop culture, abiding to modern trends in order to not stand out like a sore thumb. I have no clue how my ideas could possibly be that different from anyone else's. Though I'm technically an adult, I still feel like I have a lot of growing up to do, and I have not seen nearly enough of life yet to be preaching ideas which I can hardly grasp myself.

I will still write in here, but I think I'm going to change my focus. I'm going to talk more about my daily interactions and things I'm learning instead of this one-sided preachy bullshit. Because brainwashing is what we're trying to fight, right? Conformity is both a best friend and an enemy, so I want to figure out ways to both embrace it while still remaining the same unique, brilliant individuals with savant-like grasps on subjects the rest of society is unable to focus on.

I'll admit it: my contact with fellow Aspies and Auties is fairly limited, but those I have met are very talented writers, artists, mathematicians, philosophers and thinkers. I'm still amazed by the ambition and devotion these friends of mine place into their field of work, and have no doubt that it will lead them to great happiness and fulfillment, no matter their unique path in getting there.

As my peers and I grow up (imagine the thought), we will learn new things, and maybe uncover something implausibly fantastic. But until then, we need to figure out what life really is.

The Vaccine Theory: My Opinion.

When I was a baby, I got a vaccine for Pertussis (Whooping Cough). Apparently when they administered the shot, I turned blue and started shaking. The doctor told my mom, "she is having a neurological reaction, she will never be the same." Ever since, my mom has been convinced that my Asperger's has been caused by this single shot. I used to agree with her, but lately I'm not so sure.

I've looked into this recently, and alas, many parents are complaining that various vaccines caused Autism in their children. I feel like a lot of this is coming from a generation where knowledge of Autism wasn't commonplace, so they're treating it like an epidemic (if that makes sense).

On the contrary, I've been looking at my Astrological Chart lately, and it describes my personality exactly. It states that I need a break from socializing every now and then, how I'm very passionate about the things I love, and that I have a strange sense of humor that doesn't seem apparent until you really get to know me. These all seem to be Aspie traits, at least in my case - I find it interesting that it's written into my chart.. (If you are interested in reading your own birth chart, then click here. Good explanations of traits assigned based on where the planets fall can be found here.)

Now, Astrology may not necessarily be the most valid form of analyzing oneself, but it is scarily accurate. Your Astrological Chart is determined at birth by where the planets are placed in relaton to your birth location at that specific time. I know this is really a stretch, but if my personality was supposedly determined at my birth, and the Pertussis vaccine was given a year or so later, how much could possibly have been changed?

I'm not going to deny that the vaccine didn't give me any problems, for I had plenty of behavioral issues growing up (though I can't attribute those problems to the vaccine, either...), but my personality has always been the same - I've just had to learn how to utilize it to benefit myself and my surroundings. Also, I think a great deal of Autism Spectrum Conditions are genetic. Some immediate family members display a few traits, and I have a cousin who is also an Aspie, and another cousin with ADHD. This is often the case - many individuals on the spectrum have relatives who share traits as well. 

What I really don't like about the vaccine theory is that it solidifies the idea of Autism as a Disorder, rather than a different way of percieving the world. I don't want to see myself as the result of a science experiment gone wrong. If the vaccine had any impact on who I am today,and if perhaps in 50 years we find out that this vaccine actually did cause Autism in thousands of children, then I'd much rather see myself as Peter Parker turning into Spiderman. If society wants to think we're an epidemic that needs to be cured, talents and all, here's what I have to say: these are the things that make us unique, and I'd rather my case be comparable to Spiderman's (issues and all) over the average person any day.

Here is my rant on the subject, hope it made sense.

Positivity.

I know a lot of you think I'm unrealistic in my celebration of Autism, but honestly, there are so many good things about it! I can't even begin to stress this enough. 

This article sums up my point of view quite nicely:

The Discovery of Aspie Criteria

Read it and tell me what you think. Autism and Asperger's can't be ALL bad, right?

Blend in, or stand out?

There comes a time in the life of a society where the individuals living in it experience a tension in how they respond to their society. Stereotypes and differences seem to prevail, and those experiencing these differences are often pointed at and laughed at. Many responses from this treatment result: the few unique individuals attempt to conform, are faced with depression and many underlying psychological issues, or they simply cannot live in the society they are placed in - they band together with those that are like them to create their own mini-society, or they fall off the face of the Earth. 

In a time of change, however, when these differences are exposed, people must fight back - show your differences, how they affect you, and from these actions change will result. New acceptance will arrive on many different levels. It has happened in history for many different groups, and in time will happen for those on the Autism Spectrum. I know I've been putting a lot of stress on this lately, but believe me: with time, it will happen, things will change.

How do we know, though, when to give up trying to blend in with society and show who we really are?

I was diagnosed with Asperger's just years after it was accepted as a condition. I was force-fed therapy and behavioral training which molded me into the almost-"normal"-seeming girl I am today. If I tell people that I do, in fact, have Asperger's Syndrome, 75% of the time they won't believe me. "You seem so normal! You're going to be fine! I don't know why you're overreacting over your social discrepancies because you're likeable and you blend in socially." 

I don't buy this bullshit. I know I'm good at faking being Neurotypical, but the truth is, I feel so different inside. I'm so critical of my own mess-ups and I always feel like I'm putting on such a facade, to what - be like everyone else? Believe me, I'm only doing this for survival. I only followed through with my parent's demands so that I would be socially proficient enough to get a decent enough job that wouldn't leave me homeless and starving. I want to make enough money to express myself creatively, and that's really it. It's embedded in my brain that I should care about catering to everyone else, but you know what? I don't give a fuck about impressing anyone besides those who will contribute to my eventual survival (or lack thereof). I've been trained to not socially fuck up, but I'm only following through with what society expects of me because I don't like upsetting people with rude comments. I don't care if you don't like me because I unintentionally said something rude, I only care that I made you upset, because well, I don't like making anyone upset, it goes against my personal philosophy of peace and how people should interact with one another. 

Basically, I only make you happy because I believe that everybody should be happy.

I just got out of my Art History class, where we've been talking a lot about Identity Politics and social change. This all happens in the scope of modern art. Let's look at artists like Adrian Piper, who emphasized being African-American when she could pass herself off as white, and Kara Walker, whose work consists of exposing social stereotypes of race in large scale, to the point where it can be seen as highly offensive and even disgusting (I'm not going to provide specific examples here; Google their work if you'd like to learn more). These women use art to work through their issues with how society percieves them; shouldn't everybody find a means of doing that? At the same time, if we expose our differences, doesn't that go against all the work we're doing in an attempt to neutralize them? 

So, if society is inevitably going to change to accept those with neurological differences, should we speed up the process and expose our insecurities and personal feeling about Autism by exposing these traits which society has taught us to hide; or should we conform, and show that an Autistic individual can be "normal" as well? 

I know a lot of what I'm saying here may be contradictory, but I just have to get it off my chest. I had the hardest time sitting through that class because so many thoughts were racing through my head and fighting with one another. It's something I need to resolve. I know we can't predict the future, but how should we deal with things when Autism Spectrum disorders get more exposure? Should we conform with the rest of society or embrace our differences? For those of you reading this, I want to hear what you're thinking, because this doesn't just affect those with Autism, it affects any group of people who stand out. This affects everybody, which is why I think everyone needs a valid opinion on it - we need to act in some way, I'm just having trouble deciding how.

Just a thought

Art represents certain aspects of the current state of our society. If we create more art about having Asperger's, will it create more awareness and acceptance?

This is just something I've been pondering. I want to create more AS-related art. Maybe it will help the idea of neurological differences cross more people's minds. Maybe it can help give way to some sort of revolution. Who sees the same way as I do?