Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Things to learn

Self-assurance
Dignity
Confidence
The ability to not let others bring us down
How to take charge of one's own life

My best friend once told me, "The one thing that changed my life was when I realized that it doesn't matter what others think of you. It took me a while, but understanding this is the best thing anybody can do for themselves."

This statement has to be the most important thing anyone's ever said to me, and years later I'm  trying to figure out if I've actually gotten there.

Life beats you over the head sometimes, and it seems to happen more easily to me than to others - I guess I'm just wired that way, able to handle less. 

Naturally, I'm terrified silly, though this reaction has become rather commonplace. 

The optimist in me is yelling to fight back and slaughter my inner fears cold. 

I have a bunch of numbers for doctors around my area, and I'm going to start making phone calls tomorrow. I'm not self-assured just yet, but I've finally realized I can't let my own thoughts destroy me. Now all I need is the help to actually accomplish this.

Anxiety can fucking suck it. 

2 comments:

LizzieK8 said...

Except it does matter what others think of you. If your co-workers don't like you they can make your life hell. If your boss doesn't like you, it's only a matter of time till you are "let go." If they both don't like you, well...it's time to find a new job.

Theoretically I agree that it doesn't matter, but in real life, it certainly does.

Rachel said...

I agree with LizzieK8 regarding how people see you in the workplace. If you can work well with other people, your work life will be easier. The key here is respect. If you show respect for other people's ideas and feelings, things go much better, even if you disagree with people.

I also think that if you accept yourself as you are, you will gain the respect of others. My friends and colleagues have been much more comfortable with me when I am comfortable with myself. Better a comfortably eccentric person than someone trying desperately to be like everyone else!

In life in general, I've been happier since I've stopped thinking so much about how other people see me. Given my mindblindness, it's difficult for me to know anyway, unless someone puts it into words. In the past, this caused me a lot of anxiety. It doesn't bother me so much anymore. I've figured out that most people feel insecure and that all they really want is for someone to treat them with kindness.

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