Saturday, November 29, 2008


I have reached an epiphany: I've finally experienced a substantial amount of life.

While I still feel very immature, I'm finally consciously following my own path. This may be difficult to explain, but for most of my life,  I've felt as if I was merely existing: silenced, oppressed, too quiet to have my opinions matter. I feel as if, until now, my decisions were chosen for me by teachers, therapists, and parents, that I was just along for the ride and had to agree to their every command.

Now, my life is in my own hands. Instead of being dragged along, I'm motivating myself and making my own decisions. Though I'm experiencing life a little later than most people my age, I'm there, working on it, progressing on my own. It's exciting - and a little scary. 

I finally have a large pool of memories which I can draw from to learn from past experiences, and maybe even mature further. Before this point, it was as if I was watching my life in front of me - I felt completely separate from my experiences, as if I were a mere observer. 

I can finally become an active player in my own life. I still have a great deal of life to experience, but it's nice to know that I have control over most of it, and that I will gain further control as I travel through.

It's about time.

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