Social Conditioning?

For someone with Asperger's, I'm seen as a very social person. I don't necessarily socialize often, but when I'm at school or in class I'll greet people, ask them how everything is going, be nice to them and do my best to treat them with respect. I do this because, not only is it an unwritten rule in our society, but because I was bullied a lot in grade school and have vowed never to treat anybody the way I was treated.

Socializing is seen as a positive thing in our society. Why is that? Are we all putting on a facade to move past everybody else in pursuit of our own selfish gains? What tells us to do this? Is it our fathers and grandfathers working up in their respective professions? The money-obsessed individuals our society seems to be full of? The fact that the charming, charismatic guy who has no other skills will move further ahead than the quiet guy who is brilliant at what he does?

Why are we told to be nice to others? Furthermore, if somebody disrespects us why do we become upset?

I feel like I was trained to be this way at a very young age. As a child, I would hear, "Don't do x, do y and z instead, people prefer that."

I can understand restricting actions that initiate discomfort in the other person, such as pulling someone else's hair or kicking them. What I don't understand are the restriction of certain social behaviors, such as outspokenness, or saying things that unintentionally offend somebody.

Language is a thing that humans developed. We didn't develop pain, we came with nerve endings that send signals to our brain when we've been hurt. While physical impact can be painful, words aren't. Words may affect our emotions, but I feel as if this is a byproduct of social conditioning.We are trained when to feel happy and sad, or at least I was.

In the beginning, I didn't care whether a bully called me names. But as I grew up, I realized that the bully's actions hindered my peers' acceptance of me, and because I was taught that friendships and relationships are some of the most important things out there (also social conditioning), this made me upset. Due to a chain reaction of responses to my actions I wasn't fulfilling the requirements of human contact.

The question is: why are we this way?

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines conditoning as:

con·di·tion·ing

Pronunciation: \-ˈdi-sh(ə-)niŋ\

Function: noun

Date: 1861

1 : the process of training to become physically fit by a regimen of exercise, diet, and rest; also : the resulting state of physical fitness
2 : a simple form of learning involving the formation, strengthening, or weakening of an association between a stimulus and a response

Note the second entry. We are conditioned to act a certain way in response to our society. We act the way we do in response to what we see, and what social rules have been laid out far before our existence.

This is why I feel like the majority of my behavior is artificial. How can we really be ourselves in a world that forces us to keep up with what is considered acceptable behavior?

I often wonder: if I weren't encouraged to act a certain way, if I didn't have the social experiences I had growing up, would I still be the same person? Are we really our true selves or has society shaped us into who we are today? Is it possible for a person to be their true self if they are being involuntarily molded into a pre-existing standard?

I need to hear your thoughts on this. How does this make you feel, what is your opinion? Speak to me!

Auties: Successful in the workplace?

I just came across this article: Thorkil Sonne: Recruit Autistics (thanks, computerlove at WrongPlanet!) and it really made my day. In the article, Sonne, who runs an IT company in Denmark, makes it a point to hire mostly people on the autism spectrum, because of their attention to detail, fantastic memory, and amazing concentration ability. This company is really working out well for him, because, as stated in the article, "Once on the job, the consultants stay focused beyond the point when most minds go numb. As a result, they make far fewer mistakes."

This seems like such a wonderful work model because it not only breaks conventions, but it opens up jobs for individuals previously thought to be "unhire-able". The only place where I would think a person with Autism may not be suitable for working is in a highly social environment, where office drama is bound to happen and charisma is necessary every step of the way. In the context of work, people should be judged not by their Type A personality (or lack thereof) or by their ability to follow social rules; they should be judged by their ability to work, and how well they work. Get what I'm saying?

Hopefully, as acceptance of autism continues to progress, more companies will start using a similar model. It will put away certain conventions and open up the door to new ones, possibly changing the standard of what the typical workplace environment will be. Isn't that exciting? Autism isn't an epidemic of sorts: we're real people who also need to make a living, and the fact that companies are starting to pay attention to this is wonderful on both our behalf and theirs. Let's keep it coming!!!

Why I Won't be Walking.

So the Walk for Autism Research is coming up in my area soon. I'm not participating: here's why.

The walk is sponsored by Autism Speaks, an organization that is one of the main supporters of Autism reasearch. Here is a quote from their mission statement :

We are dedicated to funding global biomedical research into the causes, prevention, treatments, and cure for autism; to raising public awareness about autism and its effects on individuals, families, and society; and to bringing hope to all who deal with the hardships of this disorder.

Honestly, I'm glad a group like this exists. I am curious as to where Autism comes from; I'd like ANSWERS rather than mere speculations, though with time, I bet all we'll get is a strongly supported theory. That's all right. We already know there are truly no solid answers in science; we can live with this.

The part that really gets me is when they discuss wishing to "raise public awareness about autism and its effects on individuals, families, and society; and to bringing hope to all who deal with the hardships of this disorder."

Uh, WHAT? Public awareness is fine, just as long as it's in the right context and it displays the right information. What really bothers me is the portrayal of Autism as a disorder. I know you've heard this from me endlessly, but to be quite frank:

AUTISM IS NOT A DISORDER. Social conditioning and our society's take on what is "normal" blows our perceptions of Autism to extremes. Anyone who is slightly different, in the eyes of our society, has a disorder, or even worse, a disease.

I feel like the awareness of Autism is being blown to epidemic proportions. Here's a conversation I had at home the other day with my parents:

Dad: Apparently the number of kids diagnosed with Autism has gone up to 1 in every 98 kids.

Mom: That's awful!

Me: Well, at least they're getting better at diagnosing it...

I love my parents. They're wonderful people, and I wouldn't be where I am today without them. Their views are just something I don't support. Yes, they agree with the whole "Autism Speaks is a Godsend" deal. Despite having done a lot of work in support of Autism in our area (they completely re-vamped my area's education system and helped it grow when I came along), I just don't agree with a lot of things they say about "curing" Autism.

Just because Autism differs from what the standard for "normal" or "typical" is in our society, apparently makes it a disorder! Well, maybe some peoples' brains work differently, ever thought about that? Maybe the kid who is a scientific genuis today but has no friends due to being "lost in space" will one day cure cancer. I know individuals on the Autism spectrum who are some of the most brilliant people I've ever met. I know individuals who are brilliant who don't have anything close to Autism. It's all how you see it.

In conclusion, I do have a form of Autism, but I'm a functioning member of society. I am capable of survival. This is why I don't want to participate in any Autism Awareness events; I want to be seen for who I am, and not as a part of some growing "epidemic". So sorry, I won't be joining you on "Walk for Autism" day. Autism Speaks can suck my dick.

Kanye = Aspie?

So we all agree that Kanye is a dick... but here's a theory some have:

Does Kanye Have Asperger's?

Though clearly a joke, it's a poorly done one, and one that's making us Aspies look bad. Though I do have Asperger's, I wouldn't stand up in the middle of an award speech to complain about why the other nominee deserved to win, which is contrary to what the link implies. It's inappropriate and embarrassing, and while Aspies may not understand some social conduct here and there, this comparison is inaccurate and irrelevant.

Furthermore, it's an embarrassment on our behalf to compare us to someone as impulsive as Kanye West... if he is on the spectrum, he only represents a small percentage of everyone on the spectrum, if even. Furthermore, this argument could probably be made for ANYONE, it's really the combination of traits which determines whether a diagnosis applies or not.

I've made false assumptions of others being Aspies. I'm sure many people do. It doesn't mean it's true. Whether someone has a diagnosis or not is irrelevant: our ACTIONS are what define us as individuals. There are many facets to a single person, and observing those combinations of traits help us to determine whether the person is a decent human being.

This is why diagnoses are irrelevant in the social realm of things. They only aid us in stereotyping others far more than we need to. Get what I'm saying?

Question for all of you out there.

I've been on a quest to combat my ever-present fatigue for a while, because I feel that it directly correlates with my ability to function socially (Also, who enjoys feeling like crap? You get what I'm saying.).

I'm aware that this may not be the case for everyone - some people have given up on socializing, or it is no longer a priority for them. Still, I'd like to ask this question to all of you reading:

Which situation would you prefer: being able to communicate effectively while feeling physically and mentally exhausted, or feeling physically and mentally alert while failing to communicate properly?

We all come from different backgrounds and have different life experiences, so please brieftly touch upon your personal experiences. Thanks!

Answer me this

Why must we assume others live with the goal of wanting to hurt us for their own selfish gain?

Won't this belief only contribute to a life of misery and fear?

Is it unreasonable to still have faith in the good will of others?

Are those who possess blind hope a dying breed?

...

Apparently being a good person is a crime, espescially in a time when apocalyptic wars are probably not too far ahead of us. We're in an age of survival of the fittest, and "fit" is synonymous with being a hardass.

What happened to "do unto others as you would like to have done to you"?
I don't see it. Maybe I'm just lost in time.

All I know is I don't want to live life in fear.

Sound and Vision.

I love the way my eyes refocus when the lights are turned off, so that all I see are a kaleidoscope of colors.

I love exploring blind spots and visual distortions. 

I love closing my eyes into my pillow when I'm in bed and seeing floating neon shapes. 

I love looking at one color and seeing twelve within.

I love seeing rainbows be reflected into the most unexpected objects, such as a wine glass. 

I love seeing fabrics fold and drape, creating new dimension and telling new stories.

I love getting lost in fabric prints and paint textures. 

I love old photographs where the darkest colors are tinted blue and everything looks distorted. I wish we saw things this way. 

I love looking into static air and space, and seeing how the air even comes to life as a sort of visual fuzz. But maybe that's just me.

I would much rather be deaf than blind. I prefer staring into the sun over hearing a foghorn.

I love exploring my world through vision. I feel like a visual world can say far more than a verbal world ever could, and it's a beautiful thing.